Gratitude

You might think my recent journey has been an uphill and sometimes bleak one, and that would be true. However, some things are much different from the past. In previous dark times, I would have developed tunnel vision and convinced myself life wasn't worth living. That is no longer the case. I don't consider myself a religious person, but I do have my own set of spiritual beliefs and think someone or something wants me here for a reason, even if most of the time I can't figure out exactly what it is. I try to convince myself that this is only a temporary situation, and there will be better times ahead. It's hard to believe that sometimes, but I think back to other difficult patches in my life and realize I had the courage to deal with them, and ultimately I can get through this as well. I talk often to God. I don't really pray in the traditional sense, it's more of a rambling dialogue like you might have with a buddy. And if there are any angels or spirit guides listening to my banter at the same time, so much the better. I figure I can use all the help I can get. But when I talk to God, I try to keep things in perspective and remind myself what I am grateful for:

• The love and support of my partner and his immediate family;
• The love of my Mom. She is my best friend, and I am thankful for her wisdom and guidance;
• Having transportation, a place to live, clothes on my back and food to eat; being safe;
• My health being stable;
• The few friends I do have and their ability to encourage me and cheer me up; and
• My cat and fish, who I not only have great affection for, but who give me something else to care for outside of myself.

It's like the old cliche goes: it could always be a lot worse. I know that, and every day, I'm thankful that it's not.